Friday, 5 August 2011

Prickley Priorities

Right now the country is running around panicing about a second credit crunch, nobody being able to afford Christmas presents ever again, and the fact that John Prescot say's the Cabinet has been entirely replaced by a Prime Ministerial Pussy.

As a direct result of this Londoners are flocking to the internet desperately trying to keep up with what's going on, while people in Stockport are still standing in awe wondering what the big glowy thing is in the sky.

Except they're not. The Londoners that is. I'd recommend not checking on the people in Stockport, it'll only make you sad. In reality the top 3 stories on the BBC website right now are:

  1. Man get's eaten by Bear
  2. Bird get's eaten by Plant
  3. Mr Bean get's eaten bruised by Car
This can only mean one thing. The internet has reached the provinces, and the unemployed have woken up.

Thankfully though, hope for western civilisation can be found in Sweden, where recently a resourceful chap was cruely arrested for attempting to build a Nuclear Reactor in his kitchen. As you do. Science's new hero has now come out as saying that in hindsight trying to create a Nuclear Reactor in his kitchen was probably a bad idea. I'll type that again in case you missed it. Hell, I'm even going to use big bold letters for this to help out; "in hindsight trying to create a Nuclear Reactor in his kitchen was probably a bad idea." Got it? Good. Presumably this means that at some point in Professor Balls Up's planning process he thought that it might be a good idea instead! What the hell were his criteria?!? And what point would he have had to reach before stopping himself and thinking that perhaps continuing with the plan might not be in the best interest of, oh I don't know, say, anyone within a radius of about 100 miles?

It does however prove one thing. While Al Qaeda are using a network of secret international training camps to teach people how to secretly build a couple of petrol bombs in a cave, hobbyists in Europe are working towards the casual distruction of entire cities by splitting Atoms in their back garden.

I'm really not sure who's winning here, but I'm very sure that the fact that all of the above is true* means that the stockmarket wobbling and jepordising everyone's imaginary numbers shouldn't really be our top concern about the state of society.

*Especially the bit about Stockport. I mean seriously, have you been there? Christ on a crutch it's grim!

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