Wednesday, 21 September 2011

Angry Birds has become a disease

Up until recently I was a massive fan of Angry Birds. As in the game, or, to simplify somewhat, I was a fan of what Angry Birds actually is. A game. It's fun, simple, clever, and a good time filler when you're trying to blank out the indistinguishable shit being pumped out of tiny cheap phone speakers on the bus by people too poor to afford headphones.

I even branched out.... (yup, that was deliberate. I'll leave this sentence for a bit now so you can finish groaning.)

Done? Cool. Carrying on then....

I even branched out and got one of the plush toys as a gift a while back as well. Not for me obviously. I'm a bloke, I need plush toys about as much as I need sodding cushions. But to those though, I kinda thought fair enough really. No, nobody anywhere needs them, but they're kinda funny, and not exactly going to push me into poverty and a life of Pot Noodle consumption. But it's gone past the point of some cute merchandise, and been flung headlong (yup, again) into lunacy.

We now have film tie in's, based solely on the presence of anything with feathers.

Seasonal games, which, curiously, currently includes 7 different seasons. Presumably the Dev team are committing their code from sodding Narnia for that to make sense.

There's even an Angry Birds theme park in China. Seriously, what the hell kind of rides does that have? Unless it's just a gate that opens to a giant catapult launching morons into buildings then what the hell is it for? It's not even officially licensed, so we can't blame Rovio for it either.

And finally, we have a nebula. Yes, that's not a mistake, we now have an Angry Birds nebula. You can read about it here. But for the lazier amongst you who only really use the internet to look at various forms of pictures just scroll down.

There was a very good quote that I can't remember the source for a while back that went along the lines of. "In the 60's Nasa sent men to the Moon with less technology than is currently in your mobile phone. Today we use that technology to fire Birds into Pigs." It's all gone hideously, hideously wrong.

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