Thursday, 13 October 2011

Fat Plan 2012

Don't worry everyone, the government have fixed it again. Today they have announced that to cut obesity in the UK we need to put less food in our mouths, and exercise more. I'm so glad we live in a country where there are people employed to think of these things so we don't have to. If only there were a way I could donate more money to help them do more of this research.

We should be grateful though, without these people in charge it would fall on amateurs like me to point these things out. We're so lucky to have Andrew Lansley to look after us instead. Chances are that without him Middlesborough would have collapsed in on itself under it's own mass by now, and people would be modifying gym equipment to create food catapults to launch blancmange into the mouths of Jeremy Kyle viewers.

On the whole though, it's not all bad news. We do at least live in a largely sport obsessed country, that encourages some of the unhealthiest people imaginable to stuff half-cooked burgers into their mouths while shouting at the athletes in front of them that they aren't performing up to the crowd's standards. So at least the government haven't had to do all the hard work here.

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