Wednesday, 5 September 2012

Cabinet merry go rounds

So, yesterday was cabinet reshuffle time! Or, as those of us who aren't complete morons like to look at it, it's time to rotate the retards. Now, don't get me wrong, this isn't an arbitrary Tory hating post, were it anyone else in the top job we'd just have a different colour of retard. But they'd still be retards.

But this isn't just pointing out that they tend to be utter bastards, this is more about the fact that what we're getting is a collection of people who are woefully unqualified for their jobs, and being given terrifying levels of power to make decisions that they lack even the basic level of intellect to make. Lets run through the numbers shall we.

Jeremy Hunt, society's favorite display of rhyming slang, has been moved to the auspicious role of Health Secretary. So, that'll be someone who knows something about, well, health then right? Well, no. He's someone who believes homeopathy is a valid form of treatment, and something we should spend the NHS budget on. He's someone who therefore willfully ignores the overwhelming evidence that homeopathy is Bat shit mental, and he's managed to convince David Cameron that he's the best man to look after the countries health. Seriously, is this any more than replacing hospitals with kissing it better centers? But hey, let's not let's not let facts and evidence get in the way of incompetence here. Or indeed anywhere in the reshuffle....

Which brings me on to David Laws. No less than a homosexual! Crikey. But, naturally, that doesn't make a blind bit of difference to his ability to do anything. Unless of course you think like David Laws, and believe that the best way of proving that point is through gratuitous lying about it and hiding it from everyone. Grow a backbone David. Some people are Gay. Get over it. Although in fairness, I can kind of understand his problem, as he's also the cabinets resident God botherer, a group who are renowned for their support for the Gay community. But it begs one legitimate question about his new job as education minister. Given his belief in cloud faeries will he be teaching us that scientific research proves nothing, that we should all just assume stuff based on thousands of years of mistranslations and casual editing, and take it on 'faith' that things are magically true? Then we can start to eliminate the notion of critical thinking from our day to day lives completely! Hallelujah! That's the guy we want to lead the country forwards on education! But then I suppose it's always been the case that some people are stupid, and I should probably get over it.

But at least his religion will give him a strong moral compass right? Sure, so long as you don't mind him committing casual fraud and stealing from public funds at any given opportunity. What a guy!

So, who else then? Well there's the perpetually lovely Maria Miller, our new equality minister, who, well, isn't really that into this whole equality thing. Well, not for gay people anyway. Or women, oddly. Or pretty much anyone who isn't white, because let's face it, at the end of the day racism is just a form of freedom of speech. Obviously. I'm pretty sure this wasn't what my Mum had in mind when she was telling me about the type of woman I should consider to be 'something of a catch' as a kid.

So, everyone of these people is now sitting there happily in charge of areas at which they are terrifying unqualified for. It's literally staggering that it's even allowed to happen. Can you imagine any other area where a recruitment process like this would be allowed? If one of these people even got as close as having their CV put forward to me they'd be out the door in a matter of minutes, and the recruitment consultant would be getting a bollocking for their efforts.

So what's the solution. Well, fortunately I'm not 14, so I'm not about to promote the overthrow of the government, or suggest we start putting gun powder under central London buildings. I'm also not one of those middle aged types angry that their dreams have died because the world refused to jump through hoops for them when they fucked up their choices in life. What I want is simple. I want jobs to be done by people who are fucking qualified to do them! I want fairy tales to be resigned to peoples private lives, and not used as a basis of making decisions on a national scale irrespective of evidence, logic, or other beliefs. And I want some damn accountability when those in charge turn out to be little more than well dressed thieves with intellects comparable to that of a Cat flap. And I genuinely don't care which party they come from either, because lets face it, until we can manage these simple requirements, voting in anyone else is just pissing in the wind.


A quick update since I started writing here. According to the Telegraph here Hunt actually supports homeopathy on the basis of patient choice. So maybe he's just doing his bit to promote natural selection? In fairness, I'm all for that. Just not at the expense of spending money on idiots that could be used to help someone who doesn't believe in magic pixie dust!

Finally, here's an excellent blog by Ben Goldacre on the nonsense of homeopathy.

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